RHOV Recap: No Regrets?

Episode 3 of the Real Housewives of Vancouver began with Christina dealing with the aftermath of her 30th birthday party.  If you don't remember, it was like Housewives gone wild.  Or more specifically, housewife gone wild, because it was Christina alone getting down and dirty in some skimpy underwear and a t-shirt with "Golddigger" written across the front.  And courtesy of Ronnie, who was the only other 'wife left, this magic moment was captured for all to see.  Don't you love "friends" who set you up for regretting your drunken antics by recording and sharing the evidence?

When the episode began, we found Christina looking absolutely the most normal we've seen her so far...hungover on the morning after her birthday.  See, these housewives are "real" after all!  Anyway, the memories of the night soon came flooding back, and later in the episode, Jody would take her to task for her lack of discretion.  But more on that later...

Speaking of mean Queen Jody, she and Reiko dished about the birthday party over a spa date.  Nothing too exciting or shocking was said, but what stood out is that Jody stays young through whale sperm facials.  That's right, she puts whale sperm on her face.  And apparently, Reiko is game for this as long as keeps her looking as young as mean Queen Jody.  Because who doesn't want to model themselves over an over the hill, nosy, uppity muffin maker?    I actually kind of like Reiko - she still has some down to earth elements in her but you know you can't walk all over her like you could some of the other housewives (ahem, Mary!).  It's too bad she's so connected to the dark side (aka Jody & Ronnie), but maybe she'll see the light and move over to Team Mary?  One can only hope.

Ronnie giving Mary and her scarves the kiss-off

Meanwhile, Ronnie continued to build her case as Mary's best frenemy by showing up half-drunk at Mary's meeting about her new scarf line.  Besides the obvious comments that one could make about another person making more scarves (seriously, those things are everywhere!  Mary, where's the profit in that?), Ronnie was clearly unsupportive of and uninterested in Mary's new venture.  And I'm not quite sure why if Mary saw this coming, she didn't try to prevent Ronnie from coming to the studio.  Mary, being sweet is great if you are 14, but guess what, you're 48!  You gotta grow a backbone soon, girl!  Ronnie is running all over your life right now.

The episode continued on showing more of Jody's day to day as a caterer and boutique owner.  This featured a lot of her daughter Mia, who judging by the previews for the rest of the seaon, will continue to be a thorn in Christina's side.   There is something between them for sure, we just haven't seen the details yet.  Speaking of Christina, she and Mary met for drinks and through their conversation we discovered that Ronnie is blaming Mary for her over-drinking at Christina's party as well as at the studio scarf line meeting.   And not even doing it face to face - they are in a full on text message battle about this.  Is that not a sign of an alcoholic?  I wonder if we will see Ronnie go back to rehab...apparently she was there for real, though last episode it felt like she was joking about this.

In any case, whether she's drunk, bitter or both, Ronnie continued her reign of terror by not only showing her children Christina's drunken birthday party photos (!!!!), but when one of them asked if Christina might mind if she forwarded them on, her reply was that why would someone pose for said pictures if they didn't want them forwarded?  Clearly, logic AND friendship are not Ronnie's strong points.  Not to mention parenting.  Who shows their children things like that?  Honestly, Ronnie's flippant behaviour about the photos is not surprising, but disgusting nonetheless.  To describe Ronnie as a "person" after seeing that exchange with her kids would be stretching the definition of someone who actually has a soul.


So, with pictures forwarded on, both Ronnie and Reiko shared with us their workout routines.  Ronnie isn't much to mess with, but Reiko?  Umm wow!  All I can say is she may look pretty, but this girl could kick anyone's ass.   Including mine.  Note to self:  only say nice things about Reiko on this blog.

We saw more of Jody and her daughter Mia, which begs the question who really cares this much about Mia?  Can we skip the mother daughter passive agressive moments?  Please.  We also saw more of Ronnie's home as she tourned Reiko and Jody around her massive estates before she started renovations.  This included a peek into her husband's man cave that includes a rock climbing wall and nearly naked photos of Ronnie.  Classy joint, huh?

The girls then dished more about Christina's pictures, and Jody got on her high horse AGAIN.  Big surprise.  She also declared that she needed to confront Christina about that behaviour.  I'm sorry, but is Jody secretly Christina's mom??  What gives her the right to confront someone that is not even a friend about anything?  Seriously Jody, don't you have a life of your own? Despite this being obvious to everyone, Ronnie of course encouraged Jody to take Christina to task about the birthday blowout, being the master puppeteer that she is.  What would an episode of the RHOV be if Ronnie wasn't orchastrating more drama?

Anyway, the showdown with Jody and Christina finally happened and it was fairly anti-climatic.  I really wished there was some wig pulling a la Real Housewives of Atlanta, but then again it's only Episode 3.  A girl can dream right?

The conversation started with Christina calling out Mia for her past misbehaviour.  See what I mean?  Those two have some major past history that will come out over the course of the series.  Anyway, that immediately set Jody off in mama bear mode, declaring if anything further was said about her daughter she would not hesitate to serve Christina with a lawsuit...which is the preferred method of rich people shutting down a fight, no?  The argument continued with Jody cutting down Christina further about her birthday booty shaking, but Christina held her own in firing back.  It was good to see Christina stand up to Jody, but after Jody stormed off, she lost her cool, saying "I hate that she can make me feel so small."

What I find funny is that Christina has said nothing about Ronnie passing the photos on.  Do these ladies not see the real mastermind of any drama on this show is Ronnie?  Jody defintely needs to be cut down more than a few notches, but I really want to see someone put Ronnie in her place.  I have a feeling this won't happen until the reunion when they have all seen the full season, but we can only hope.  Stay tuned for a recap of Episode 4 next week!