3 July 2011

Directionless

Do you ever have those days when you wonder what direction your life is going in and why you have made the decisions you have made so far in life?  Every once in a while I get into that mode of wondering what if, what might have been and what never was in my life.  It is disarming and unsettling to say the least.

What really got me going was being at a baby shower last week and the name of I guy I recently dated came up.  I started to wonder...what would have happened if we were still dating?  Would I be happier?  Would I be more confident in my future?  Would I realize that he was the one/a jerk/gay/a commitment phobic???

Then I realized that pondering these questions is pointless.  We aren't dating anymore, we aren't even in touch anymore.  Yes, it's sad and I wish things were different, but it is what it is.  I can't live life wondering what might have been or what never was...that can make a person crazy, not to mention stop you from moving forward.  Sometimes you just have to leave the past where it is - in the past - and move on to whatever is next.

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